Down

I think it's hardest for me to be miserable cuz every time I'm down. It feels like I can't really tell anybody. And every single time, I wanna cry. But I can't. I wanna feel really vulnerable. But again, I can't. Everything is just pent up, bottled up, right in my chest. Honestly, it hurts. I hate the feeling. I mean, who doesn't? It's so hard to get rid of. It just seems like there's no way, no solution. Then again, you might think (that's if anyones reading this) I'm just being a drama queen or I'm being too emotional. Maybe I am. Actually, I hate the fact that I'm a tad too sensitive. At times, I tend to react way too negatively towards what people say or do that might hurt me or the ones I care for. Maybe it's the way I am, the way I was brought up. I don't know. I can't just stop being too sensitive, can I? Trust me, if there was a way, I would totally go for it. Cuz my over-sensitive attitude sometimes hurt others too, even though I don't mean to. And it upsets me further that I unintentionally hurt someone that's trying to help lessen my emotional strain. Even when someone tries to console me, I'd want to be even sadder. Is that weird? I think it is. I am weird. Actually, I think no one truly knows who I am and the things I've done except God. Sometimes I wish I'm not the way I am. I wish I could go back in time and correct my mistakes so I wouldn't end up this way. But what's the use? I might just screw it up all over again. In conclusion, I've no idea why I did this. Maybe I thought I'd feel better if I did. Well, I do. Just a bit. Not so much. It's just a random emo rant by a typical teenage boy. Maybe I'm having mood swings. I don't know. I don't care what the reason is. I just feel down. And I don't really expect anyone to care. Wait. Maybe I do. I don't know. Whatever. I'll feel better after a good night sleep.