ridzwan, ridzwan.. why do i always bring myself down to the lowest of lows? hmm.. maybe i have low self esteem. yea. that's probably it. and maybe, i don't feel that people value me. not that i want people to uh. but idk.. i'm just not motivated.. it's like i'm just wasting time everyday. there's no point in me living if that's the case right? i'm better of dead huh? haha.. the funny thing is i don't dare to kill myself lah.. i'm not that crazy. i'm still sane lah. lol. but.. i just feel like shutting myself from the world and be a loner. just FEEL like it. that's all. but that's totally impossible don't u think? maybe i should be less funny and friendly. but.. i can't. i'm naturally that way. right? haha. despite that fact, my natural self don't show what i really feel.. gah! this sucks! i really wanna confide in someone but it's really hard for me to do so lah cuz i've always been self-contained.. haiz.. i'm a disappointment to myself. GAWD!!!!! i'm so lame!

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-i don't feel like going to the stadium 2mrw..
-lol.. ur parents..